Episode 1: Becoming One with Christ
The Singleness Series
Welcome to Episode 1 of the Singleness Series!
Before we talk about finding a husband, dating, courtship, marriage, or maximizing your singleness, I think we have to start with knowing who God is to us.
Do you call Him Father? Friend? King? Lord? Olólùfẹ́, the Lover of your soul?
You have to know who God is to you before you can choose to submit to what He has to say about creation, your life, and the way you should live.
Jesus Himself gave us an example of knowing God relationally. In the garden, He called Him “Abba, Father.” On the cross, He cried out to God. Throughout His ministry, Jesus continually acknowledged the Kingdom of God, living in submission to the Father's will.
So before we spend our singleness preparing to become one with another person, we have
to learn what it means to become one with Christ.
Do you live a life of prayer?
Once you begin to recognize who the Lord God is to you, you can become more intentional about establishing a life of prayer and communication with Him.
Notice I didn't say a prayer life, but a life of prayer, one where prayer continues throughout the day, every day.
Prayer cannot only be what we do when things go wrong and we need God to fix something. We should want to share our daily lives with Him, seeking His heart and not just His hand.
Many believers can recite the verse in 1 Thessalonians that says, “Pray without ceasing,” but cannot always tell you what comes next:
“In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (1 Thessalonians 5:17–18)
If you pray through a difficult season, remember to give thanks in that season, too. You may not understand what God is teaching you, how He is strengthening you, or how He might use what you are experiencing for your good. Giving thanks doesn't mean pretending that pain isn't present or that every difficult circumstance is good in itself. It means we can remain grateful to God even when we don't understand what He is doing.
The instruction to pray is followed by a reminder to practice gratitude. And that principle is one of the things that inspired the creation of my Bible Study Journal.
Before studying the Word of God on each page, you have space to write out a prayer and list up to three things you are grateful for at that moment. It's a simple practice, but it can help prepare your heart to receive God's Word.
When we remember His character and acknowledge that He is good, we create room to
receive instruction, correction, and direction with a heart that is willing to listen.
Simply put, if I want to know God, I have to spend time with Him.
Reading the Bible is important. Going to church is important. Listening to sermons is important. But hearing about God isn't the same thing as knowing God.
Think about it this way: if you only saw my social media posts, read my blogs, and listened to stories other people told about me, would you truly know me? Would you call me your best friend?
Even if I shared my deepest journal entries with you, you still wouldn't know everything about my personality, my temperament, my mannerisms, the way I respond to things, or what makes me laugh. You would have information about me. But friendship requires time.
The same is true with God.
His Word reveals who He is, and spending time with Him allows that truth to shape our relationship with Him. Prayer, Scripture meditation, fasting, worship, and simply sitting in His presence create room for us to grow in our knowledge of Him, recognize His leading, and understand His will.
What is your Kingdom assignment?
As we grow in our relationship with God, we can begin to discern how He wants us to live and serve.
The Word of God gives us truth that applies to all believers in Jesus Christ. But as we grow in our understanding of that Word, we also have to ask how to put it into practice in our individual lives.
What has God entrusted to you? What gifts, abilities, opportunities, relationships, and experiences can you use to serve Him and others? This is what I like to call your Kingdom assignment.
First, we have to understand that a kingdom has a ruler, subjects, laws, and an agenda.
God has a Kingdom, and we are His people. Even the disciples were thinking about their place in that Kingdom when they came to Jesus in Matthew 18:1 and asked, “Who then is greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”
If you want to explore this concept further, I recommend reading about Tony Evans's Kingdom Agenda. His teaching emphasizes God's rule over our lives and the advancement of His Kingdom for His glory. In short, our lives as believers should reflect God's rule, not simply our own ambitions.
That means our lives are not random. God has given us gifts and opportunities to steward, people to serve, and good works to walk in (Ephesians 2:10).
And your Kingdom assignment is not waiting for “the one.”
Your calling doesn't suddenly begin when you get married or reach a specific age. God can use you now. Actually, He wants you to be available to Him now. There are things you may be able to do in this season that will look different once you have a husband, children, a household, and other people depending on you.
That doesn't mean marriage will prevent you from fulfilling your calling. It means that every season brings its own responsibilities and opportunities.
This season has its own fruit.
I believe growing in our understanding of God's assignment requires intentional time with Him. As we pray, fast, meditate on Scripture, and spend time in His presence, we become better equipped to discern His leading and test our understanding against His Word.
And when we recognize what He is asking of us, our lifestyles should begin to reflect that understanding. We should be willing to surrender our own preferences and take a posture of submission to His Word.
Does your lifestyle reflect your assignment?
This is one of the areas where I have had to be honest with myself. This very project is something I ran from for a long time. There have been other seasons when I knew what God was calling me toward, but my everyday life didn't reflect it.
I said yes, but I didn't follow through.
I knew better, but I didn't always live better.
And I have felt the consequences of that. The aftermath of disobedience was distance from my Father, Friend and Olólùfẹ́.
But God is faithful. He has remained faithful to me, even when I have had to return to things He had already placed on my heart. His mercy is real, but mercy doesn't mean disobedience has no consequences. And conviction isn't an invitation to remain in shame. It's an opportunity to repent, realign, and respond differently.
Let our yeses be yes.
If God has called you to something, begin becoming the person who can steward that assignment. Not because you are trying to earn God's love, but because you are learning who He is and responding to Him in love.
Maybe you don't know your assignment yet. That's okay. Start with Him. Get to know the King before you worry about who might eventually become your king beside you.
You don't need to have every detail of your future figured out to begin living faithfully today. Start with what God has already revealed in His Word. Be faithful with the people and opportunities in front of you. Use your gifts to serve. Remain teachable. And keep seeking Him as you take your next steps.
And this is where we begin.
Let Us Pray
Father God,
Thank You for being our Father, Friend, King, and Lover of our souls. Thank You for Your Word, where we can learn about You. But thank You even more for Your Holy Spirit, who lets us feel what You feel and know what You know Teach us to know You beyond what we have heard about You. Give us hearts that desire Your presence, seek Your will, and remain grateful even in difficult seasons.
Help us recognize the gifts, opportunities, and responsibilities You have entrusted to us. Give us the courage to obey what You have already revealed and the humility to keep learning where we still need direction.
Forgive us for the times we have said yes without following through. Restore us, realign our hearts, and help our daily lives reflect our love for You.
May our singleness be fruitful. May our lives bring You glory. And may we never become so focused on the person we hope to marry that we neglect the God who has called us to Himself.
In Jesus' name, amen.
A practical next step: Explore your Kingdom assignment
Continue the journey
Scripture to Read: Matthew 18:1-9
Watch Episode 1 on YouTube
Download the prayer page
Explore the Bible Study Journal
Some more resources:
1. Tony Evans - The Kingdom Agenda
3. TPC Ministries - Know Your Design
Until next time, remember: you can be fruitful right here, right now. Your Kingdom assignment begins with belonging to Christ and learning to faithfully steward what He has placed in your hands.
⧫ Journal Entry 7 ⧫ 10.01.2017
Sophomore year, Fall semester of college
I’m beginning to love Sundays for the first time in my life. Today I’m back on campus from church and since I’ve finally quit cheerleading, I have enough time to do this. Write. What better to write about than this week’s coming Fast. I made this spontaneous decision alone as I need a clear mind in my journey after God’s own heart. So I’ll be fasting from my current drug of choice, weed. Yup! I’m finally making steps towards quitting.
At first I just wanted to prove to myself that I’m not addicted to either of these things. But fasting just felt right, like it would be beneficial to spend this time in prayer. Usually when a child of God decides to fast there is a spiritual purpose, something they want from God in return. God has blessed me abundantly for so long that I can’t think of what more to ask of him. I’m so used to looking in the wrong directions and asking for the wrong things that now in a moment where God is asking me what I want, I am realizing my unworthiness to receive it. I’m sure of his hand over my life and my relationship with Jesus has become more real now than ever as He shows compassion for me even when I get involved in the things I shouldn’t. I trust Him, though I don’t fully understand Him.
I don’t want to be dependent on anything else but God, hence the fast this week. It’ll just be me and my God. Prayer, scripture, devotions and worship all week long and I’m actually looking forward to it. I prophesy victory and prosperity over my life. I pray that this week of mental clarity will bring with it a spiritual clarity. Spiritual clarity, that’s what I’ll ask God for.
God already knows my heart and I cannot wait to get to know His. Everyday I’ll get closer, dipping myself in the same waters as Naaman and renewing my heart. My spirit can use a refresher so that I never get tired of seeking God’s face. I pray that God sees me here, small and broken, and shines through me. I want to do His work incessantly even when I know I am unworthy of His grace. God’s Word and promises fill every void and I allow it. Without it I had felt lonely. Who would choose to feel lonely? I wonder about those who don’t know God. Do they feel lonely? Depressed? Isolated?
I’ve been there but Jesus led me to full recovery before, I know he will do it again.
Psalm 141:2
“Receive my prayer as incense, my uplifted hands as an evening sacrifice”
Nails painted dark
Two chains around my neck
A depiction of rebellion
Say my name with respect
Lord, I'm clean
But with specks of dirt
I've hurt you
Don't deserve to
Lift up my hands to serve you
Yet the regret I feel is repealed
Replaced by peace
My face a depiction of bliss
As your Spirit passes through me
Like a soft kiss
Let me dwell in your forgiveness
For the gift is irreplaceable
And real
Surreal like the feeling of
Unconditional love
Above all else I'll serve you
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