Settle Our Souls

Writing has always been easier for me in hard times. In college, I wrote constantly. Whatever I could get my hands on was covered with journal entries, poems, or songs. Now, I write blogs. Since this website is a relatively quiet place, generating very little traffic in a given month, I can say this is a safe place to write. It's a place discovered only by others like me, in seasons like mine, seeking the Lord with all their heart. All this to say that you all (well, the three of you who gather here from time to time) should be expecting more blogs from me this season than the last.

This is what I would consider a hard time. I'm producing non-stop with very little turnover. I'm pouring out with very little being poured back into me, and my hands are full, but not with anything that seems to make my life easier or better. I can't explain it any other way. I feel like everything I am enduring right now is somehow contradicting what I heard God say before. I can literally hear the enemy taunting, "Did God really say that?"

Well, did He? Did He call me the head and not the tail, a royal priesthood, the light of the world, and the temple of the Holy Spirit? He did. Then how come I'm being chosen last for marriage, being trampled by religious leaders, watching the fire in my eyes dim, and feeling my body grow weaker by the day? What did Agur say in Proverbs 30? "I'm too stupid to be human, and I lack common sense." Or what about Psalm 22 when David says, "I am a worm and not a man... despised by people"? How can both of these narratives be true?

Because Jesus sits on the throne. He is the head. He is the royal priest. He is the light. He is the true temple of the Holy Spirit. And we are the carriers of His likeness and glory despite ourselves. The Lord's eyes watch and see everything: the wickedness of the world and those who cannot sleep without producing more of it. Yet He also sees the righteous, the ones who hope in Him, search for Him, and lean on Him regardless of their circumstances. All the while, He is enthroned in His own holiness, undisturbed by any of it.

I usually write more in hard times because I need more reminders of this truth. Though I read the Word, it is in recounting it, reciting it, and searching my heart for its remnants that I find it has been bearing fruit all along, even in the wilderness. Hard times are like the wilderness: dry for miles with no immediate way out. My feet blister, but I know the only option is to keep going because this is not even my own life anymore. It's His. And as long as I can remember that in my distress, I can keep going. If not for myself, then for His name's sake.

This is not my usual writing style, no added bells and whistles or hours spent editing, but I will still end with a prayer for us all, Faithful People or not.

Dear Father God,

It's been a while since I called on You through this platform, but You've seen my tears this morning, this afternoon, and even still now. I need You. We all do. This world needs You. Your Word tells me that You are watching both the wicked and the good, not just their actions, but their hearts. You test us all, and Your eyes never close as You search us. You have seen every repentant heart and every brokenness. You have heard every silent prayer and crushed dream. Speak a word from Your throne. Let that word transcend the human calculations of time and send forth a refreshing wind to the Earth. Settle our souls.

This we pray in the name of Your Son, Jesus Christ. Amen!